If You’re Not Pissing Someone Off You Aren’t Doing It Right

Don't DiscriminateThe trouble with humor is that always offends somebody. Trust me.  We get given out to regularly on Urlybits, IsViral and Unfollowing Jesus for offending or insulting people. You just can’t win.

If you make a joke about anything that somebody can identify with the chances are you’re offending somebody.

Rag on women and you’re a misogynistic, wife beating, cheating alcoholic that likes to kick puppies in his spare time.

Quip about men and you’re a gynonazi, feminist, frigid cock tease.

Any type of religious or political statement never fails to offend somebody.

Make a pun about Mohammed and receive death threats. Poke fun at Christianity and you’ll recieve comments about how you’ll burn in hell, they’ll pray for your soul, they think you’re an f’n ignorant cunt and they hope someone will shoot you down.

Atheists call you stupid in many varied and rather eloquent forms that may take you a while to decipher.

Take a jab at science and you’ll get the really hardcore nerds pointing out the fallacy of the arguement while making comments about your (lack of) intelligence.

Insult the delicate feelings of gamers who like to pretend that they are hardcore special forces and you’ll find out how many 12 year olds have slept with your mother.

Jest about the the dead and even 20 years later it’s still too soon…

Slaptsick is offensive to the over protective “helicopter parents” and don’t you dare, ever, make a joke about the poor, poor children (especially the fat ones).. or you’re the worst kind of evil ever. Even Hitler looks like a sweety pie in comparison.

So that leaves… well, it leaves posting pictures and videos of cats, which I personally think is animal cruelty as they never gave their consent to be videoed or have their intentions twisted by a cruel intenet. Also, they don’t even get an extra sardine thrown in with their dinner. Poor animals get such a raw deal.

Cutting to the chase, I think it’s fairly obvious to readers of this blog that 99.99% of the time you can’t say or do anything of substance without pissing somebody off and if you can’t handle that then you need to get off the intertubez, take  your toys, go home and cry like a little boy who just got beaten up by his baby sister.

I don’t know who said it but – “if you’re not pissing somebody off you aren’t doing it right” and honestly, if it doesn’t piss somebody off then it’s probably not worth posting at all.

Comments

  1. Robbie says

    I’m offended that, in your diatribe of people to offend, you neglected to mention any homosexual slurs. Are we not worthy of degradation and humiliation?