Paul O'Flaherty

Lights In The Sky Over Cobh

Chinese Lanterns being lit

My sister Jenny, among other people have reported that they’ve heard, on Cork local radio (96.fm Red FM), people discussing strange lights in the sky over Cobh during the night of Saturday the 20th of February.

Apparently there has been a heck of a lot of speculation including people saying that the lights, which apparently were moving in formation, where part of some sort of military maneuvers.

I’ve been finding this all a little more than amusing, as I’m sure my sister and almost every member of family does. Why? Well we known the true explanation for the lights and it’s nothing as sinister as military maneuvers or little green men buzzing Great Island looking for cows to abduct and mutilate, or the unwary to anal probe.

The truth is that the lights “moving in formation” were nothing more than a bunch of randomly set off Chinese lanterns, which were set off around 23:30 (or there about) from the Cobh Ramblers grounds in the midst of celebrations my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary.

So happy anniversary Nan & Grandad, it looks like your celebrations brought a lot more attention than just those of us who were there to share it with you

Privacy Isn’t Binary. It Isn’t Yes Or No

Tell or Don't!

You’ve got  real life friends so you know that privacy is never a simple “yes or no”, “tell or don’t tell” matter.

There are things that you tell your spouse or best friend that you wouldn’t tell anybody else. There are things you would say to some friends and not to others. When you are out a party there may be pictures that you would let your friends and your brothers see, but would result in a serious ear bashing from your mother.

I’ve always been a strong proponent that our online activity is an extension of our offline activity. That online relationships mirror the dynamic and complex relationships that exist in our offline lives.

Believing that, I find it counter-intuitive to have social networks like Facebook push us further and further into a binary way of thinking about privacy. Essentially boiling privacy down to a “post it or don’t” issue. Forcing us to treat all of our online “friends” as equals.

As much as we may not like to admit it in front of our friends, we know that even our offline, real life, friends are not equal in our eyes. That is why the terms “best friend” and acquaintance exists.

Instant messaging clients, with the exception of ICQ (or at least it used to be when I actually used it), do the same thing. We are either online or off. Visible or invisible. Not a case of  visible to some and not to others. We’ve all put our phone on silent from time to time to “ignore” that call from a friend or family member. Or simply turned it off. While we might not want one person to know we are online, or available to talk, we might and sometimes do desperately need other people to know we are available to talk and that we want to talk. Skype are you listening?

With social networks, instant messaging and almost every other form of online communication pushing us into a binary way of thinking about privacy, we have to ask ourselves if that is what we really want? Would we stand for it, or be able even to successfully get through our lives if privacy in real life was dual choice only?

Tell everyone, or tell no one?

Shouldn’t we be pushing for finer grained control and groups rather than simply eradicating privacy? Or do we want  everyone to be burdened with a lot more secrets and worries that they would never be able to get off their chest and for confidentiality to cease to exist?

Kicking and Screaming

I'm Back!

It’s been almost a month since I posted last. Christmas, New Years and the fact that due to some misfortune I nearly lost all of the data for this site, it’s been hard to find time get things back up and running.

The long story short is that I lost all of the data for this site, but was at least able to restore all of the content from backups (actually loosing on the images embedded in the two most recent posts) and only had to deal with the loss of my theme.

Being the beginning of the year, a new start and the first year I am officially divorced, starting with Sara as my fiancé, I took the near destruction of my blog as a chance to relaunch and restart.

You’ll see that I’ve gone for a completely different style of theme this time around. For all of my ranting before about wanting to break out of the tech blogger mold, I never managed to break away from it in terms of the layout and theme of my blog. Now I have and there’s no looking back baby! Expect more of my callous sarcasm to grace your screen in the coming days, months and years (assuming I live that long!).

Now, far be it from me to sit on my arse and undertake the reworking of just my own site. Fans of Daily Shite will see that it was been completely overhauled, jammed to the gills with new features and given a swift kick in the pants for good measure.

We only reopened Daily Shite today and it wouldn’t have been possible without Sara’s help in editing a mountain of posts in order to fit the new design and future proof the content for any possible redesigns. Thanks babe!

Oh, and I almost forget to mention Daily Shite’s, ginger bastard child “Bit Slut“.  Go check it out!

So folks. New year, new life, new start! All I need now is a big old cranky stick!

Anything Can Happen At A Tweetup

And the answer is...

You’ll never guess what happened last night! Okay, maybe you will, considering it was all over Twitter and Facebook within minutes.

Last night, surrounded by friends, Sara and I took one more step on the road of being together that we have been traveling for so long now.

We still have a long way to go. Visa’s need to be applied for and moves have to be made, but with both of our divorces over the time was right to move one step closer to being together permanently. To take a step that we have both been waiting so long to make a reality.

Surrounded by friends armed with cellphones, last night I stuttered and stumbled my way through and asked Sara to marry me.

You can watch the video below (captured by Alli)  to see Sara’s reaction and her answer

Picture taken by Ke4mur.

The Twinkie (Video)

Creamy Goodness?

I never had a Twinkie before last night. Seriously.

As far as I was concerned they were some weird American item of confectionery that only made it’s presence felt in my universe when they appeared on TV or in such  awesomeness as Zombieland.

Needless to say when everybody found out that I’d never had one, Twinkies were purchased and my first bite of that preservative filled chemical cake was captured by Alli Flowers for posterity.

Was I impressed or not? Guess you’ll have to watch the video below to find out!

Now I Can Move On

They're like me!

Cross posted to Paul and Sara.

I just got the call. My divorce is finally over!

It’s been two long years, involved moving from one country to another, changing everything in my life and a lot of trials and tribulations but it is finally over.

It’s less than an hour since I got the call that it is all done and it’s hard to describe what I’m feeling right now.

I’m overwhelmed.

I feel regret that it took so long to get done and that things were so difficult.

There is a massive sense of relief. It’s done. It’s like the elephant that has been sitting on my shoulders for the past two years has finally gone it’s own way.

There is happiness. I’m happy that it is all over. That I am now free to move on. That my now legally ex-wife has moved on with her life and that I won’t have to deal with legalities or the leech on ones soul that is waiting.

Above all I am overjoyed. I can now legally move on and be with Sara. We can push forward with our plans without waiting on courts or papers on my side.

Yes, above all I am overjoyed that everything is finally finished. Now I can build towards my future with Sara without the stress or uncertainties of waiting and not knowing if the courts would had me a decision today, tomorrow, next week or next month.

It’s done. I am happy. We can be happy.

Thank you to everyone who has stood by and shown their support while this has gone on. Friends, family, Sara, thank you! I love you all.

Shunning Convention with Cake

Full Irish Breakfast

My mate Brian (@Azhrei) is a funny old sort.

I’ve know him forever, almost 20 years now, and he definitely falls into the category of “über geek” and damn good friend.

This morning we dodged the raindrops to meet in town for coffee’ although what started out as coffee became breakfast and while we were waiting to be seated Brian was telling me about cholesterol and we were talking about how a full Irish breakfast was bad for you.

Even though I was having the “full Irish” Brian decided that it wasn’t for him and that he would take the healthier option!

The picture below is what he chose to have instead of the nasty fry up.

When asked how he justified his “healthy” option, Brian replied with: “It’s got some fruit in it”!

Thanks mate, for always putting a smile on my face

Friendship Is More Than 140 Characters

9 days after I posted about reducing the number of shared links I was posting to Twitter, I received this from a friend via a series of direct messages:

Hey Paul, I just wanted to let you know why I am unfollowing before I do so. I followed you to follow *You* not your blog, and it seems that is all you do on Twitter (for the most part), now. I’d recommend going back to this being your personal Twitter and having a separate account for your blog posts, especially since you post so often. Let me know when you’ve reduced the linkspam in your Twitter stream as Twitter doesn’t give me the ability to filter your many links out like Facebook does.

While keeping my friends name private, I wanted to respond to this publicly as it is very much an important matter to me and I believe, something which faces everyone who runs their own site and builds their brand around themselves rather than a domain or company name.

First let me point out that I am my blog and for all intents and purposes, my blog is me.

PaulOFlaherty.com contains content covering my blogging on several different domains going back to the beginning of 2004. Prior to that I blogged on a number of proprietary platforms from which I could not export my content.

I have always promoted by blogs, vidcasts and podcasts through my social media accounts. I actively encourage readers of this blog to follow my blog and personal updates by subscribing to my Twitter account.

You say that you signed up to follow me, well I am what I write. I am what I produce. My posts and netcasts are as much a part of me, hell more a part of me, than a lot of the inane chatter and babble I engage in on Twitter.

In other words, when people followed me on Twitter they were following my blog. It has never been any different.

I converse with my friends and audience on Twitter but my blog is where you will find the real me and I use tools such as Facebook, Twitter and other social networks to draw people in to where I can actually express my opinions. To draw people into my blog where I can vocalize (yeah I know it’s written) my opinions without the restrictions of 140 characters that reduce even the most simple of ideas to little more than monosyllabic grunts.

I guess some people are more involved with the day to day minutiae of my life but I am not my Twitter messages. No more than I am my SMS messages and following my Twitter account will never give you an accurate picture of me.

If you’re interested in “following me” then links to my blog posts, the things which truly demonstrate my opinion and how I think, should not be a problem going through my twitter stream.

With regards to the statement of linkspam. How do my own links, to my own content on my account qualify as spam? I post 7 (sometimes 8 ) links a day on my account, to my own content. 6 links to Daily Shite content which go out approximately 1 every 2 and a half to 3 hours (although sometimes they get clumped together depending on how Twitterfeed is feeling) and 1 (2 if it’s a day like today) to my personal blog.

Quite frankly I find having my content, in my stream called “linkspam” offensive. I am not selling anything, pitching anything, trying to get you on a pyramid scheme or any such crap. Yet you call my content linkspam?

Take a look at other peoples twitter streams. Take a look at your own stream. The average stream consists of hundreds of posts which are little more than nonsensical babble describing what they’re having for breakfast, where they are, who they’re meeting and weighing in on exactly what type of douchebag Kanye West is.  Hundreds of posts, every single day, but no content. No substance.

I talk with people on Twitter most days. Some days I don’t. Some days I’m just not in the mood. But not being in the mood doesn’t stop me producing content. It doesn’t preclude me from being me and it doesn’t preclude me from wanting to share what I have created, my opinions and what I feel passionate about, with the rest of the world.

If you don’t want to see my content, then quite frankly, tough. Unsubscribe or unfollow. For everyone person that unfollows because I post my own content to my stream, there will be others who are looking for intelligent discussion and are actually interested in what I have to say rather than just where I am going or what I had for dinner tonight.

It’s times like this that make me realize the fallacy of the term “friend” in social media circles. It is something so shallow as to be discarded because your “friend” has thoughts that require more than 140 characters to express?

While I Was In Limerick…

Recently I was down in Limerick enjoying hotels that happened to have patrons who decided it was cool to swipe the cable to the wireless router (thank you so very much) and in which you could clearly hear a mouse fart from across the street, that just happened to situated across a narrow road from a night club.

While I was enjoying the “best” accommodation that Limerick had to offer I made it on to a rather unexpected list – “50 Irish Influencers To Follow on Twitter”.

The list, compiled by Niall Harbison of Simply Zesty (an Irish company doing PR and Social Media), covers 50 of the most influential Irish people on Twitter from across all forms of media.

The list is not based on follower count, but is based on influence and as such includes newcomers to the Twitter world from TV and radio who have not yet accumulated a large Twitter following – heck knows how I made it on to this list but I’m very happy I did

Check out the complete list over on Simply Zesty and while you’re at it, check out the details of their upcoming summer camp which is being held in Dublin on the 27th of August for a chance to see how you can use social media to improve your business.

You can follow Niall (@niallharbison) and Lauren (@laurenfisher)from Simply Zesty on Twitter and of course you can also follow me too @pauloflaherty.

The Ages Of Social Media

It’s a true sign of the changing face of social media when my 13 year old sister messages me on Facebook to get me to tell my Grandmother to accept her friend request (because my little sis is impatient that way, as most kids are with a new toy).

Social media is no longer the domain of the geeks & nerds. It’s truly become universal.

You need to be wrong to be a blogger!

On thing I can’t stand is a smug, condescending git who thinks he (or she) knows everything.

Unfortunately the internet is chock full of these assholes, who believe that their opinion is all that counts and will argue that to the death that the moon is actually the buttocks of the late, great John Candy, hanging from a coat hangar attached to the ISS, rather than face the possibility of being wrong.

While some people are simply born with this level on inbred self importance and delusional capacity to recreate reality at a whim in order to fuel their own ego,  (and I suppose they can’t be blamed for that, but I do wish we could put them down at birth) some of us join the ranks of those vomiting self righteous  and “infallible” verbal diarrhoea simply because we write for an audience other than ourselves.

I originally started blogging for myself but quickly turned to technology blogging as I got a sense of satisfaction from the idea that sharing my knowledge may help others.

Yet the more I’ve emailed back and forth with readers, trouble shot their issues, came up with solutions to problems and answered beginner level questions in the comments, the more I started to believe my own bullshit.

The more you blog, the more people read you and the more you slip into this thought process that people come to my site because “I know what I’m talking about.”, which inevitably leads to:

“How dare you say I’m wrong. You know nothing, I’ve been on the internet forever, been fixing computers since before your moms pimp went sweet on her and bought her an Atari 2600 for Christmas – I’m Paul O’Flaherty damn it! How dare you question me?”

Yep, we become full of our own crap and believe our own bullshit.

Even for those of us who don’t go to the extreme mentioned above, for those of us who manage to entertain the idea that we may be wrong after we’ve toiled diligently over our posts to create highly accurate articles full of impenetrable logic and unquestionable facts, it’s very, very important to be wrong.

If you are never wrong, in what you post then there is little reason for anybody to read your post. If you’re always 100% correct then the title should be enough for them. Why would they bother reading 500 words when 10 will do?

Not only that, but posts which are packed with airtight logic leave the reader with little if anything to think about. If your argument is perfect then why would they leave a comment? Writing the “perfect” post to present your situation discourages comments. If you’ve done your job then there is nothing left to say.

Most importantly, if you are never wrong, then your readers will never trust you. I wouldn’t trust anybody who doesn’t admit that they got it wrong and I believe most people have an innate predisposition to disliking people who are always right.

We just don’t like to think other people are better than us.

So here’s my two little titbits of advice for today:

• Don’t make your posts perfect. Leave room for your readers to think, question and fill in the blanks.
• Don’t be afraid to be wrong and most importantly don’t be afraid to admit it (and be gracious when you are).

After all, nobody likes a smart arse!