Masturbatory Post Much Ben?

Facebook’s F8 conference is later today and Mashable’s Ben Parr  has managed to write an almost 500 word wank fest where he says nothing more than “I’ve seen it, you haven’t, everything else is shite and I’m in love with Zuck” (okay maybe he didn’t say he was in love with Zuckerberg but I strongly suspect this particular man crush goes beyond the norm).

I have seen what Facebook is launching on Thursday, and it’s going to change the world of social media. And while I won’t talk about the mind-boggling things Facebook will be launching, I will say this: The Facebook you know and (don’t) love will be forever transformed. The news that will come out of Facebook during the next few weeks will be the biggest things to come out of the company since the launch of the Facebook Platform.

And:

But these changes are just the beginning. The changes Facebook will roll out on Thursday are designed to enhance the emotional connection its users have to each other through Facebook. These changes will make Facebook a place where nearly everything in your life is enhanced by your social graph. These changes will make it so you know your friends better than you ever thought you could.

On Thursday, developers will be elated, users will be shellshocked and the competition will look ancient. On Thursday, Facebook will be reborn. Prepare yourselves for the evolution of social networking.

This isn’t journalism. It’s a fluff piece. It’s self-indulgence. It’s a sneaky wank in the fanboy closet. This reads more like Ben Parr and by extension Mashable, is on the payroll of Zuckerberg’s marketing machine rather than feigning a semblance of actual reporting.

I’d like to say that we expect better of Mashable, but these days….

Still, this post annoyed me more than most.