Okay, lets get this our of the way: No Sara’s not pregnant. No we’re not trying, well not for at least another year, but yes we are giving serious thought to having a baby in the next 2 years or so.
So being us we ordered a book of baby names assimply refuses to allow me to name the kids anything like “Captain Jack O’Flaherty” or “Darth O’Flaherty”.
The book we ordered is “100,000+ Baby Names” by Bruce Lansky, and it is quite simply the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
I know you’re wondering how a book of baby names could ever be funny, but let me explain:
Near the beginning of the book there is a section called “The Impressions Names Make” which lists girls and boys names by the impression the name gives. So if you’d like you child to have an athletic, beutiful/handsome, friendly, hippie, intelligent etc., sounding name then you’d pick from one of these lists. Simple right? No quite.
Each of these lists is divided into names for girls and boys except for “nerdy” which has only boys names listed. Apparently only boys can be nerdy, and it gets worse.
The lists that contain only boys names include: Nerdy, Strong/Tough and Wimpy.
Lists containing only girls names also feature, such as “sweet” and every bodies favorite “sexy”. Yup, you know you’ve always wanted your baby girl to have a name that makes her sound “sexy”. LOL
Still the best part of the book was yet to come. Setting aside the fact that many of the names in the book do not have the origins that the author claims, and many more appear to be exercises in seeing how many ways the author could phonetically spell a name to make it sound remotely like the base name in order to fill the 100,000+ names claim, the best part of the book was this name:
First off let me say that “Gagandeep” is a genuine Indian name and I apologize if anybody gets offended by this, but Sara and I have filthy minds. Damn filthy minds. Think Urban Dictionary levels of filthy.
So when we’re reading through the names in the book and come across other names and start putting then together on a “first name, middle name basis” it was all we could do not to fall off the couch laughing.
If your not from America say these with your best American accents, and if you are just say these out loud: Ima Gagandeep. Sukhdeep Gagandeep, Fulla Gagandeep…
This list goes on, and on and on. It’s like listening to an Austin Powers script.
I know that we have the sense of humor of 12 year old boys in a sex education class but damn, it was just so funny. I’m sure we’ll be getting a lot more laughs out of this book over the next year or two