The Beatles Had It Right – Can’t Buy Me Love

Valentines Diamond

So, Valentine’s Day, eh?

My beautiful wife is rather fond of pointing out that “all men pay for it in the end”, and yes Sara’s talking about sex.

She’s not implying that all women are prostitutes, but instead referring to how relationships function and the simple fact that if you want to get something, 99% of the time you have to do something first.

Another way to put it is – lazy, inattentive, unappreciative husbands typically only get two things – nagged at and then divorced. And rightly so. May I add that it also works the other way around.

I have no problem admitting that I dislike Valentines Day. Not because I don’t want to show my appreciation for my wife. Trust me when I say that she will be treated like royalty tomorrow – pampered, have her favorite meal cooked for her, be lavishly spoiled with gifts and I’ll be spending as much time with her as possible.

No, I dislike Valentines Day not only because it is so commercialized but because so many people appear to need Valentines as an excuse to go the extra mile and show their partners how they feel, and so many others are only putting in the effort because, well… It’s Valentine’s Day.

I do not have an ulterior motive when it comes to February 14th. This isn’t a “I’ll treat her like a princess today, and she’ll let me into her castle tonight” kind of thing. Yes, it’s an excuse to buy an extra present or two and maybe go out for a special meal, or to cook her favorite food, but if we are honest with ourselves, we should be doing it all the time.

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are essentially bribing or being bribed in order to get a little “jiggy jiggy” on Valentine’s Day, maybe you need to reevaluate…

I think the reason Sara and I are so happy together is that we don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to roll around in order to make each other feel special. There’s always random “just because” gifts that don’t even have to be expensive, it can often be as little as randomly picking up someone’s favorite ice cream when at the store, or cooking their favorite dinner. They’re just little things that say “I’m thinking of you”.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re not perfect. We have our bad days. We argue, we’re grumpy, we piss each other off, but…

We’ve each been around the block before. We’ve learned from our past relationship mistakes and each know how important it is not just to feel loved in a relationship but to make your partner feel loved too.

We always tell each other how we feel, how much we love each other, and we try to talk through an empathize with issues that we may each be having. We make a point of kissing when we see each other, holding hands when we’re out together, message each other and finding time everyday just to be together and talking about our days.

Sara is not just my wife, the mother to my children and the person whom I share a house with. She is my best friend, my confidant, my partner, my lover and everything I could ever want, and more.

If you feel about your spouse, partner or significant other, the way I feel about Sara, I can’t imagine how you could wait or allow yourself to be limited to one over-commercialized day a year to show them just how much you love them.