I Was Never A Black Kid…

We have a full complement for episode 100 of Nothing Serious, and this week we talk babies, creationism, hacking vs pranking, entitlement and racism in education. As a bonus, next week you get to blame Hodson for us discussing a story that is more than a year old.

Stories mentioned in this episode of the Nothing Serious Podcast include:

10 Days To Go – Brown Britches Time

The frequency with which I post about personal things on this site has become a rarity akin to a day without TMZ posting a wardrobe malfunction. In some ways that’s a sad thing for me, as this site has been a cathartic release for me for over a decade, however, it’s also a sign that life and business are good. That is to say, business is keeping me too busy to post anything unrelated, and life is too good for me to have much to complain about – besides exhaustion, my ever-present companion… I’m telling you 18 – 20 months old and separation anxiety… oh man!

If I’ve learned anything over the past 15+ years of blogging (an amazing 10 of which are archived on this site) it’s that there’s an ebb and flow to my writing that is not only governed by my passions but also by what’s happening in my life at the time, so I try not to sweat it.

That said, I am sweating right now. Not literally sweating – mentally. Scarlett Elyse will be born in 10 days and her impending arrival is causing me all sorts of anxiety. It isn’t that I’m not excited – quite the opposite. I couldn’t be happier and more excited, but I am afraid.

I was afraid when Malcolm “Stormageddon” Tennant O’Flaherty was born too, but this is different.

You see, Mal was my first and as such my parenting skills were entirely untested. 20 months later and I would have to declare my parenting skills still largely untested. It’s not that I’m not heavily involved in my son’s life, because I like to think I take a more active role than most, but beyond stating that “I haven’t managed to kill the child yet”, I can’t really attest to doing things right.

“The proof is in the pudding”, as they say (I don’t know who they are, but they clearly know a lot about pudding).

Unfortunately the pudding of parenting isn’t ready to eat for about 18 years.

Sara doesn’t berate me much for my parenting style, so I guess that’s something – but now I’m about to have a second child to morally corrupt / screw up / turn into the worlds first evil genius with the ability to actually defeat James Bond and even worse, manage to get through interrogating 007 without divulging any of her plans or secrets.

What can I do. What will become of the world?

I know I’m probably over-reacting. I’m betting that this is standard pre-birth paranoia for most parents. I just don’t want to get things wrong.

I want the best for my kids, and I want to be the best for my kids.

I guess the adventure is worth a little sweating and a fistful of new gray hairs!

Stormageddon Week #11 – Heartbeat (Video / Audio)

Sara and I took a little time today to hook the fetal doppler up to my podcasting rig in order to get a clear recording of the babies heartbeat.

It took us a couple of tries as Stormageddon refused to “perform” when Sara was in a sitting position, but once she got down and stretched out on the office floor with some pillows under her, then Stormageddon put on a show 😀

So We Bought This Baby Name Book…

100000 Baby Names

Okay, lets get this our of the way: No Sara’s not pregnant. No we’re not trying, well not for at least another year, but yes we are giving serious thought to having a baby in the next 2 years or so.

So being us we ordered a book of baby names as Sara simply refuses to allow me to name the kids anything like “Captain Jack O’Flaherty” or “Darth O’Flaherty”.

The book we ordered is “100,000+ Baby Names” by Bruce Lansky, and it is quite simply the funniest thing I’ve ever read.

I know you’re wondering how a book of baby names could ever be funny, but let me explain:

Near the beginning of the book there is a section called “The Impressions Names Make” which lists girls and boys names by the impression the name gives. So if you’d like you child to have an athletic, beutiful/handsome, friendly, hippie, intelligent etc., sounding name then you’d pick from one of these lists. Simple right? No quite.

Each of these lists is divided into names for girls and boys except for “nerdy” which has only boys names listed. Apparently only boys can be nerdy, and it gets worse.

The lists that contain only boys names include: Nerdy, Strong/Tough and Wimpy.

Lists containing only girls names also feature, such as “sweet” and every bodies favorite “sexy”.  Yup, you know you’ve always wanted your baby girl to have a name that makes her sound “sexy”. LOL

Still the best part of the book was yet to come. Setting aside the fact that many of the names in the book do not have the origins that the author claims, and many more appear to be exercises in seeing how many ways the author could phonetically spell a name to make it sound remotely like the base name in order to fill the 100,000+ names claim, the best part of the book was this name:

Gagandeep

First off let me say that “Gagandeep” is a genuine Indian name and I apologize if anybody gets offended by this, but Sara and I have filthy minds. Damn filthy minds. Think Urban Dictionary levels of filthy.

So when we’re reading through the names in the book and come across other names and start putting then together on a “first name, middle name basis” it was all we could do not to fall off the couch laughing.

If your not from America say these with your best  American accents, and if you are just say these out loud: Ima Gagandeep. Sukhdeep Gagandeep, Fulla Gagandeep…

This list goes on, and on and on. It’s like listening to an Austin Powers script.

I know that we have the sense of humor of 12 year old boys in a sex education class but damn, it was just so funny. I’m sure we’ll be getting a lot more laughs out of this book over the next year or two 🙂

Baby Megatron Will Have Revenge

Hail Megatron
I wonder if Megatron will smile about this?

It’s good to see that the idiots are out in full force. If you haven’t heard about it, the online world is buzzing about “Baby Megatron” or at least the baby who may be called Megatron now that more than 1,000,000 (1 million) people have joined the Facebook fan page called:

MY SISTER SAID IF I GET ONE MILLION FANS SHE WILL NAME HER BABY MEGATRON

I hope the Facebook page is still available when the kids grows up, because he or she is going to have some serious giving out to do. He (or she) is going to have a list of a lot of people to take revenge on for the absolute torture they have encouraged in this kids life.

Hell, with a name like Megatron, it will be amazing if the kid survives to puberty without getting the crap kicked repeatedly out of them in the school yard or doesn’t take a long walk off a short bridge due to the sheer embarrassment anytime anyone calls their name.

Don’t get where I’m going with this? Think about how “Cook Poo” felt in the episode “The Perfect Week” of “How I met Your Mother”. Now multiple that by a million.

And how about chatting up a girl or a bloke? +10 for geek cred but -1,000,000 for ever getting laid!

Seriously though, this is the most daftest meme to have done the rounds in a long time.

Yep, it may be smart(ish), yep it may be witty and yes if it ever happens somebody and their baby will get their fifteen minutes of idiot fame but c’mon folks, don’t we have better things to be supporting?

As apathetic as online petitions are, don’t you think that as a species we could come up with something a little more productive that this to put our weight behind, rather than potentially scarring an unborn baby for life?